


until the very end

by thor_odinson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baby Harry, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 13:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19013698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thor_odinson/pseuds/thor_odinson
Summary: [He did the one thing he knew how. He slapped on a smile, his softest smile, lifted his wife's head and wiped her eyes, telling her it was going to be okay, that he had faith, that he loved her.]





	until the very end

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted [here](https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12801332/1/Until-the-Very-End/) on my fanfiction.net account.

James looked over at the sofa from where he was standing by the island: Lily sat with Harry, her arms holding him upright on her shoulder as he slept. Lily herself looked like she was sleeping, though James knew that wasn't the case.

'Lily,' he sighed. She gave no indication that she had heard him. 'You need to eat something,' he said.

His wife didn't respond. 'Please, Lily.'

Nothing again. James ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to let his eyes drop shut.

Lily hadn't eaten since the night before. It was almost half past one in the morning, three minutes to. He had to get her to eat at least  _something_.

He took a step away from the island and paused to steady himself. He hadn't slept properly for a few nights and it was starting to take its toll on his health. Sure, he'd slept an hour here and there but it'd been broken sleep, plagued by sheer night terrors of him losing and outliving his family.

Once he'd regained his balance, he slowly made his way over to the sofa and to the two most important people in his life. He pressed a kiss to Lily's forehead, letting his lips linger for a few seconds before he breathed out a soft, 'I'll be right back, my love.'

He straightened up again, taking Harry slowly from Lily's arms. She didn't protest at all, instead letting her arms fall against the sofa. That was the sign James needed to know that Lily was close to giving up.

He lay Harry down in his cot in his bedroom, watching him rest before pulling the blanket up to Harry's chest. 'Sleep well, son,' he whispered, brushing the wisps of Harry's hair off his forehead.

In his hazy state, James swore he saw Harry's mouth twist into a smile.

Shaking it off, he trudged back into the living room, where Lily sat hugging a cushion to her chest.

James' heart shattered to see his wife in so much pain; knowing that he probably wouldn't help much didn't settle his nerves. He  _needed_ to help her. He needed to make this better. He needed all of this to go away.

He sat on Lily's left, his arm snaking around her shoulders. Silently, she brought her hand up to thread their fingers together. Her head fell onto his shoulder after a beat and he took her other hand in his free one, brushing his lips against her knuckles.

There they sat, wordless, motionless; not thinking about the doom that was nearing them with every passing second.

James' heart was hammering against his chest - he hated to admit it but he was petrified. Being strong for himself, Lily,  _and_ Harry was proving to be harder than he thought it would; he constantly wondered if Harry would have to live his life alone, if he'd have anyone to look after him, if he'd have any memory at all of his parents…

What if—

'James?' Lily's broken whisper stopped him in his thoughts and he found he was rather grateful for the distraction.

'Yes?' he said, holding her tighter.

'What if–' Oh no. 'What if Harry loses us?' she asked him, the fear evident in her shaking voice.

James froze. He couldn't say that he didn't know. It'd  _break_ her. So instead, he took a deep breath, kissed her temple and said, 'He won't lose us. I'll make sure of it.'

Neither of them believed it. Both of them knew that Harry would indeed be left to fend for himself. James didn't know what they'd do with him, where he'd go once they were gone, and that scared him more than anything.

'We should try to sleep, sweetheart,' James murmured against Lily's hair after a while.

'But… I can't…' said Lily, her eyes filling with tears. 'I can't sleep while knowing I might never see either of you again!'

'I know. I know, Lily. I  _know_.' He ran his hand across his face. 'But we can't just stay awake waiting for the worst. It'll just make things worse.'

It wasn't long before Lily's tears spilled over and James wished he could do  _anything_ to make it stop.

He did the one thing he knew how. He slapped on a smile, his softest smile, lifted his wife's head and wiped her eyes, telling her it was going to be okay, that he had faith, that he loved her.

To see her smile at him like that made the pain worth it.

He helped her stand and walked her back to their bedroom, taking a long look at Harry, at their boy, before getting into bed and trying to fall victim to a peaceful slumber.

It didn't provide them respite, and when the time came to rise, they took their last long look at Harry James Potter, and then held their heads high **,** walking into their final battle like the soldiers they were.


End file.
